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| September 27, 1951 Indian Valley Record |  |
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September 27, 1951 |
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MOST UNUSUAL!
young woman on a suburban
looked up from her book and
in surprise. Perched on the
of the man opposite were
[Pair of pigeonsl The man sat
reading his newspaper ap-
oblivious to the birds,
girl restrained her curiosity
the train reached her station
she could restrain herself no
r,
hat in the world" are those
leons doing on your shouJder ''
asked.
4h.e man looked up, shrugged
his
' Illders and replied: "Darned if
They got on with me at
station."
Who Else?
your cook now?"
L'"
who?"
Katessen."
[ : Feet First
you're a young man with both
on the ground, eh? What do you
. for a living?"
-LI take orders from a mao with
et on the desk."
Big Task
er watching the tittle girl pull
?lg weed from her garden, the
. next door patted he on the
J ll_m_ and exclaimed: "'My, what
a
g girl you are!"
/Yep, I know it," the child
_':d- "And just think, the whole
• mlt.lllm Ida was hangin' on the other end
a.'
&
tad to see you getting in on
these mornings, Mr. Latterly,"
i the store manager.
es, sir, I've got a parrot now."
.'A parrot. What for? I advised
I to get an alarm clock.'"
did, sir. but after a few morn-
[a I got used to it, and it failed
me. So I got a parrot and
When I retire I hang the alarm
over his cage. It wakes the
and what the bird says
arouse anybody."
Wanted: Sympathetic
Understanding
the preliminary inspection
Boy Scout camp near Hazleton,
the director found a large hm-
hidden m the bedroll of a
.Scouter Obviously not one of
items of equipment listed, the
asked the lad to explain
e tenderfoot did so neatly by
with this question: "Sir,
ever have a mother?"
BOWL TYPE. SIR?
i much preoccupted professor
ted into the barber's shop and
1 a chair next to a woman who
her hair bobbed.
please," ordered the
'VIRGfL
By Len lle|s
H. A'3LO'rE QUiT SO HI[ I
OP 2A"K:, PLE A.Z
0o NOT .JT TCJ
¢,r,/C_..ALL' TO !
TO t4rd
i
_ _r.,,a .....
by Clark S, Ha
TWE q(3(i$. I Bt2fi YOU THEy GWE YOU ANY/
v,L s WT TO woT/./Y usst /
...
,,, 1 i
A
I
ii[L
SUNNYSIDE
CLLE (1 f,,O'//r- FOI tUT 1' C,.,€','T I [ WITH / CAI;ULL/, AP4 IJANG TIJh O-/
| [ VOU. VV)AP*'OCtT' I [ TI4 {g:l OF: A CHAIRJ -.ACH J
RIMIN' TIME ill POSEN
uc. HBPCKB .us¢ ] SAw .m, m WH,CH WAS AS THe eN DANCel) AeOtrr,
,. NAMED WILLIE ! BILLED/t$ A DILLY; lie STOOD UP TO ¢-.IOUT:
BESSIE
By NICK PENN
MUTT AND JEFF
BOSS oA'DAYOFF! BUT..
l HAvE j/./ JuST 5TARTED
THE D.'./ I ONLV HID OU
OFF? j 3UST FIVE tIINUTES
rVEH i KNOW./HISTMIASX
BUT I WANTJSHOPPING .
TO DO ,V (AREN'T YOU
eHRISTHAS //A BIT EARLYI
JITTER
"rME" EAR i.Y'
BIRD GET"
THE WOR+]
By Bud Fisher
Y0U SEE THERE x f THAHK.SI.(ItH. IvIOSr l
ARE ONLVA '0 _,-,/ /[ffFFIOtEH'
By Arthur Pointer
V(I.DE AND WOOLY
ONE OF THEM cOWS I EDUGt-IT
OA' YOU HAS I-IOOF-ANP-
.,OU'm DISEASe. _ ,::
I GAVE YOU A il |GOIN'TO DO ABOUT"
By Bert Thomas
/ WELL Z£KE, I C:DNT HAVE ANY i
MORE CATTLE, BUT YOU CAN HAVE I
if you really want a haircut
,you mind taking off your hat
- customer hurriedly removed il .
at. "I'm sorry," he apologized "
looked around. "I didn't know
was a lady present!"
After-Thought
tittle girl had a traveling man
. Mother taught her to include
er nightl prayer: "'And please
h over papa." It sounded very
e.t to the mother until one night
utile girl added: "And you had
tr keep an eye on mamma too."
ON THE BEArd
m unexpected guests ar-
at lunch time, Mrs. Brown
store and get three ava-
but be sure to pinch 'em
tes fiat, grinning trlum- I
"Look Morn, I pinched
bag full!" I '
A Better
Mousetrap
By John Bulling
I WAS ABOUT to doze off into an
after dinner coma, when the ad
first caught my
L3 ]eye. Therewasn0
-irlute fancy display
Fidio. about it. In fact
it was in the want
ad columns and I only noticed it
because it had been set in eavy
type. It went somehow like this:
HERE IT IS AT LAST! I I
BEAT A PATH TO OUR
DOOR. FOLKS! 'KILLIT'
IS GUARANTEED TO KILL
RATS AN MICE. DOUBLE
YOUR MONEY BACK IF YOU
FAIL TO KILL RODENTS
AFTER FOLLOWING THE
SIMPLE INSTRUCTIONS!
There followed a name and ad.
dress, and a request to send one dol-
lar for a genuine 'Killit'. The thing
was guaranteed. What could I lose?
I took the paper to the kitchen
and showed the ad to Mary• She in.
sisted that we didn't have any mice
or rats, but I said maybe not, but
it would be nice to have a guaran-
teed mousetrap anyhow. I wadded
up a dollar bill and stuck it in an
envelope and addressed it to the
Killit people and made a special
trip to the post office to mail it.
1 showed the ad to Mary, but
she insisted that we didn't have
any mice or rats.
Later i got to thinking about
it. I hoped that Killit would not
be a cat--we already had one
(,at, and there tst isn't room for
another one in our two by four
apartment. But then, they
couldn't send you a cat by mall,
could they?
1 thought of a buddy of mine, Bill
5tout. He was a chronic smoker--
you know the type. The world is
ia ashtray. He had already started
several expensive fires by laying
down cigarettes and forgetting
where he'd put them. He had seen
an ad in the paper for an ashtray
guaranteed to snuff forgotten ciga.
rettes. Just the thing for him. He'd
ordered the thing, and when it came
in the mail he had found out why it
had been guaranteed--it had to be
filled, with water. How we'd all
laughed at Bill for being caught by
slick advertising.
UT flow could a mousetrap be
guaranteed to kill if it didn't
do just that? No, I was safe enou
from 'he hilarity of our crowd. If I
bought a lemon and the story hap-
pened to leak out, I should never
hear the end of it, particularly
from Bill. I remember how mad
he'd been when I laughed at him.
But a mousetrap guaranteed to kill
--there was no way of gettini
around it.
I tried to figure out what the
thing would be like. Basically s
mousetrap doesn't appear capabls
of much change. I mean to say, the
thing we all know as a mousetrap
is sound, and seems about the only
way to go about catching mice shot{
of running after them.
That same Sunday night 1 had
dreams abot mousetraps, I'm
one of thome gnys who can al-
ways remember his dreams
with crystal clarity. The mouse-
traps ! had entertained in my
subconscious during the night,
while they bad seemed pretty
good at the time, were complete
washouts in the harsh light of
day. Most of them were Rube
Goldbcrg affairs, and none
them would have worked. ]
I began to forget the beati
mousetrap though Mary didn't. Ap.
parently a workable idea had cams
to her while she was down at the
market, and she had held up tbe
line at the cashier's counter by de-
manding a piece of paper; and a
pencil--neither of which she eve
.as with herand sketehing out s
fairly detailed plan of the thing,
deaf to the selfish barracking ot
the pushing assortment of waitin$
housewives. She brought it home,
indignant at the attitude 6f the
shopping public, and showed it te
me. I said it would have been th
best mousetrap to hit civilization
yet, and where are you going to get
the cyclatron to work it?
We weren't kept in suspense toe
much longer. A package came in on
Lhe mail on the Wednesday or
Thursday of the same week. It was
:cry heavy, and had cost twenty-
four cents to mail. We ripped fl
open and out came a fiat slab ¢4
wood about six inches square and a
piece of leadlpe a foot long. And
a sheet of prifl%ed instructions which
started out: Place the mouse or
rat to be kl on the wooden block
and strike it smartly behind tl
earl with the pipe ....